How to Write Personal Wedding Vows That Feel Authentic
How to Write Personal Wedding Vows That Feel Authentic
Your vows are the heart of your ceremony and these are the words that tell your partner and everyone listening what your love really means.
Yet, when it’s time to sit down and write them, even the most articulate people freeze. “Where do I start? How do I make it sound real and not rehearsed?”
Let’s take the fear out of vow writing and help you find your voice.
Why Personal Vows Matter
Personal vows transform a ceremony from something formal into something unforgettable. They tell your shared story in your own words -the laughter, the promise and the everyday magic.
Legal words make your marriage official.
Personal vows make it yours.
Step One: Start With Reflection
Before writing, think about your relationship like a story:
How did you meet or know this person was “the one”?
What do you admire about them?
How do they make your life better?
What do you want your future together to feel like?
Jot down simple phrases - not polished lines. The truth always starts out rough.
Step Two: Choose the Tone That Feels Natural
Your vows don’t need to sound poetic - they need to sound like you.
Maybe your style is:
Sincere: “You’ve shown me what unconditional love looks like.”
Playful: “You’re the only person I’d share my chips with.”
Romantic: “In your eyes I’ve finally found my forever.”
There’s no wrong tone - only an authentic one.
Step Three: Add Promises That Matter
Vows are, at their core promises.
Forget clichés like “for better or worse.” Instead, write promises rooted in real life such as
“I promise to keep laughing with you - even when things get messy.”
“I promise to empty the dishwasher everyday”
“I promise to laugh at all your jokes - even if I don't find them funny”
Simple, specific promises are more powerful than elaborate poetry.
Step Four: Keep It Concise
Aim for about one minute when spoken aloud. That’s roughly 120–150 words which is enough to be heartfelt without losing your guests’ attention.
If you and your partner are both writing vows, agree on a similar length and tone. Balance keeps the moment flowing naturally.
Step Five: Practise - but Don’t Memorise
Practise your vows a few times so you’re comfortable, but don’t aim for perfection.
When you speak from the heart, the pauses and shaky moments make it more real.
You can read from a keepsake card or ask your celebrant (that’s me!) to gently cue you line by line if nerves take over.
Optional: Add a Ritual
To make your vow exchange even more memorable, consider a symbolic ritual:
Handfasting: ancient Celtic promise of unity.
Unity candle: blending two lights into one flame.
Sand ceremony: layering two colours of sand to symbolise lives joining.
These visuals beautifully anchor the words you’ve spoken.
A Final Thought
The best vows aren’t perfect but they’re personal.
They sound like laughter, comfort, hope and home. Whether funny or profound, what matters is that they sound like you two.
Need a Little Help?
As part of my wedding packages, I offer gentle guidance and vow-writing prompts to help you express what’s in your heart - even if writing isn’t your thing.
Book a free consultation and let’s bring your love story to life, word by word.